my kind of diet is eating everything i can then hoping to lose weight over night
how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”
when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you
"What do you plan to do with your future?"
me: i just did 5 squats why am i still fat